Desire to please, forced task rearranging.
Manipulations, control, personality depleting.
Unhealthy, relationship defeating.
To believe thy quality is pure.
A dream with much allure.
Abolishing most self doubt.
Fantasy, without merit, identity rout.
Day begins anew.
So hopeful before.
Down on myself once more.
Feeling. Once so exciting, life bringing.
Now a creeping cold.
I wake to you as you slowly harden my old soul.
I stare off at nothing, daring my mind to feel.
Solidified by too much loss, hurt, abandonment.
I fear warmth will no longer melt the arctic wasteland
my emotions have become.
I’m such a fool.
I believed this would work.
You’re pleading with me,
that this time will be different.
Crying, desperately asking for another chance.
I changed everything for you.
You only changed me.
That was never going to be enough.
I realized I hurt you too late.
The statements wandered internally.
They had merit, they were right.
They developed into thoughts left unsaid
but murmurs on the edge of my tongue.
Once spewed forth, brought eternal regret.
I thought you already knew what I said as truth.
Only to find that you blindly trusted my
feelings were exactly as yours.